How are you mommies out there doing? I hope this blog finds you well. Today, I would like to share my view on the early education for my child. As a psych grad, I often have so much questions in mind, whether or not I should follow the theory I learnt or just follow from the experts - The Asian Mothers I know (Elderlies). Well, I can tell you, I follow a lot from what I've learnt... well at least those that I remember. I am a huge believer and strongly agree to the theory explained by Erik Erikson on his Erikson's 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development. In this post, I will not go into detail of all stages, I will only go through the stage my daughter is in. Also to share with you mommies why do I feel that it worked.
Just to clarify, I ain't professional in this, I am a new mum too and not a qualified psychologist. When I was pregnant with Thea, I have been taking her as my invisible life companion for the 8 months (cause its already 2 months when I got to know and I had cesarean, she's early). I always talk to her about what is going on, why is there alarm sounds, where are we going, what are we eating... like a psycho basically. I also address her as "Sugar" since I know I am carrying her. So she has been very bored by my mumbles all the time. The reason behind all the explanation and guidance about life even before she's out in this world is so that she felt the security when I don't just have her around, ignoring her, I find that very disrespectful HAHA. Whenever she kicks or moves, I would literally ask her if she's feeling excited or uncomfortable. I guess then these are the perfect reason how she felt so secure when I called out her name and she twisted her neck and brought her face towards where I am (I cried). Guess she's more than familiar to my voice talking to her every single time.
So far, I can tell you all mommies out there that your child will definitely be so clingy to you to an extend that once you leave her more than an inch away, she will cry a bomb out. If you love it that she felt so needy towards you, this is how. From birth to 18 months according to Erikson's development stages, they are in the dilemma of Trust vs Mistrust.
TRUST VS. MISTRUST
This stage, resembles how they felt being appeared in this world with no clue at all, everything is so new and fresh. Imagine you go to a new school in a new town (with wide out memories) LOL. Okay that's too much but the big question they have, "Is it safe to be in this world?".
The only thing they can depend on is their caregivers. Whether you like it or not, they will be difficult, the more difficult they are the better. It shows that they acknowledge the environment they are in. To be honest, in the past, your elderly may throw you statements like, "Last time when I took care of all you and your siblings, you guys just sleep and eat, not as difficult as the one you have now". Well, time has changed a lot around here, their generation they don't even have computers.
Basically, the main point you need to focus here is whether your child develops the sense of trust or mistrust. These are the two huge components and are the only things that are of matter up till he or she is 18months old.
Let me put it this way, if you successfully encourage your child to trust, she will believe and have HOPE. She might have more confidence in her, higher security, and may be more optimistic. How do you do this?
1. Security- be consistent, predictable and reliable, I understand that some of you may be hesitant whether or not to be too attentive that may lead too overly attached child, take this theory, stop and listen. Sometimes, your child might just be crying for attention, some they really need you there, or some they are feeling uncomfortable. So learn from their cries.
2. Never Panic/ Afraid or cries- Some of you might find it embarrassing to have a crying child in the public or you just couldn't withstand its cry. Don't be! Babies are meant to cry, they have no other language than body language and cry. Cry is their only way to communicating and sounding out themselves. It is totally fine for babies to cry. Let them know that it is okay, and try to understand their needs.
On the other side, if you fail to build trust in them, they fall into the mistrust category, they might occurred to be more fearful, anxiety, heightened insecurity, basically cannot believe a single thing about the world.
In the nutshell, Parents to kids this age category is a challenge on your nurturing ability. so GOOD LUCK!
That is all from me today. Thank you so much for reading. XOXO